Grieving during the holiday season can often feel like an isolating and difficult process. Whilst many people may seemingly be in the festive spirit, the feeling of loss that pervades the season for those with loved ones that have passed on can be achingly overwhelming. This can make it feel impossible to grieve openly, without feeling like you’re a burden or not taking part in holiday fun.
Grief is an emotion that does not just simply stop during the holidays, leaving many seeking advice on how to confront these feelings during a difficult time in the year. The process of grieving is not by any means one-size-fits-all, so it is important to work out which tips may be more applicable to you than others. Above all, please know that grieving is a natural process and one that should never be quashed. You are entitled to feel your emotions in their entirety and at any time of the year.
The benefits of spending time with others
In times of heightened stress, it can be easy to distance yourself from others, especially if their emotions seem more ‘positive’ than your own. Whilst in the short-term, removing yourself from potentially triggering situations can be beneficial, isolation in this way can be alienating and only exemplifies your grief. Make sure that you are still interacting with people on a regular basis, such as going out for walks, visiting coffee shops, or messaging family and friends. Having days where you want to be alone is only natural throughout the grieving process, but making this into a regular and sustained habit can have a negative effect on your emotional state.
Minimal-energy activities can keep you busy without stress
It may sound obvious, but it is so important to continue talking to your close family and friends, and consider organising some minimal energy activities to do with them to keep yourself occupied. There are days where it may be difficult to communicate with those you hold close. Replying to family and friends constantly can be draining. Instead, it can be helpful to keep sustained contact with them in different ways. You could download a trivia app or multiplayer game that you can spend time on together, as a means of communicating without being laden with heavy or overwhelming conversations. You could also plan to watch movies or a television series at the same time using an online app. It can be easy to fall into the normative ideals of the holiday season, with large gatherings and big, extravagant gestures, but our ways of connecting with others don’t need to be huge. As long as you are reaching out when you need to, any way of doing so is valid.
Remembering your loved one doesn’t need to be an extravagant gesture
Another way in which you can acknowledge your loved ones during the festive season, is to plan a special way of remembering them. This could be done by lighting a candle for them; decorating a part of your living space with a particular colour or decoration that they liked; or listening to some music that they enjoyed whilst going on a walk.
Navigating happiness during the holiday season
On days where you might feel more positive during the holiday season, don’t beat yourself up for being in a good mood. Remove the guilt from feeling happy about the holidays. Not every moment of your day has to be consumed with thinking about grief in order for you to remember those who have passed away. If there are times where your grief slips to the back of your mind, remind yourself that this is completely normal and to not feel ashamed or saddened about this. Feeling happy does not mean that you have forgotten about your loved one, and it is important to keep this sentiment in mind during the holiday season.
The importance of a regular routine and self-care
This can be approached through many different avenues, but one of the most important ways to show yourself kindness is to maintain a regular routine throughout the most familial period of the year. Firstly, organising a regular sleep schedule is paramount to feeling good and healthy throughout the day, so make sure that you are going to bed and waking up at similar times each day. In terms of cooking, consider bulk cooking meals ahead of time on days where it might feel easier to cook than others. These meals can then be reheated on days when you have lower energy and are feeling down.
Grief is never a linear process, and it’s important to keep that in mind during the holidays. Despite the narrative of the holiday season being one of joy and happiness, it is important to allow yourself ample time and space to navigate one of the most complex emotions to work through. Whilst this article is not an exclusively extensive guide for those grieving during the holidays, these pointers can hopefully alleviate some of the key stressors that may exacerbate your feelings.
January 2nd, 2023
Grief is an emotion that does not just simply stop during the holidays, leaving many seeking advice on how to confront these feelings during a difficult time in the year. The process of grieving is not by any means one-size-fits-all, so it is important to work out which tips may be more applicable to you than others. Above all, please know that grieving is a natural process and one that should never be quashed. You are entitled to feel your emotions in their entirety and at any time of the year.
The benefits of spending time with others
In times of heightened stress, it can be easy to distance yourself from others, especially if their emotions seem more ‘positive’ than your own. Whilst in the short-term, removing yourself from potentially triggering situations can be beneficial, isolation in this way can be alienating and only exemplifies your grief. Make sure that you are still interacting with people on a regular basis, such as going out for walks, visiting coffee shops, or messaging family and friends. Having days where you want to be alone is only natural throughout the grieving process, but making this into a regular and sustained habit can have a negative effect on your emotional state.
Minimal-energy activities can keep you busy without stress
It may sound obvious, but it is so important to continue talking to your close family and friends, and consider organising some minimal energy activities to do with them to keep yourself occupied. There are days where it may be difficult to communicate with those you hold close. Replying to family and friends constantly can be draining. Instead, it can be helpful to keep sustained contact with them in different ways. You could download a trivia app or multiplayer game that you can spend time on together, as a means of communicating without being laden with heavy or overwhelming conversations. You could also plan to watch movies or a television series at the same time using an online app. It can be easy to fall into the normative ideals of the holiday season, with large gatherings and big, extravagant gestures, but our ways of connecting with others don’t need to be huge. As long as you are reaching out when you need to, any way of doing so is valid.
Remembering your loved one doesn’t need to be an extravagant gesture
Another way in which you can acknowledge your loved ones during the festive season, is to plan a special way of remembering them. This could be done by lighting a candle for them; decorating a part of your living space with a particular colour or decoration that they liked; or listening to some music that they enjoyed whilst going on a walk.
Navigating happiness during the holiday season
On days where you might feel more positive during the holiday season, don’t beat yourself up for being in a good mood. Remove the guilt from feeling happy about the holidays. Not every moment of your day has to be consumed with thinking about grief in order for you to remember those who have passed away. If there are times where your grief slips to the back of your mind, remind yourself that this is completely normal and to not feel ashamed or saddened about this. Feeling happy does not mean that you have forgotten about your loved one, and it is important to keep this sentiment in mind during the holiday season.
The importance of a regular routine and self-care
This can be approached through many different avenues, but one of the most important ways to show yourself kindness is to maintain a regular routine throughout the most familial period of the year. Firstly, organising a regular sleep schedule is paramount to feeling good and healthy throughout the day, so make sure that you are going to bed and waking up at similar times each day. In terms of cooking, consider bulk cooking meals ahead of time on days where it might feel easier to cook than others. These meals can then be reheated on days when you have lower energy and are feeling down.
Grief is never a linear process, and it’s important to keep that in mind during the holidays. Despite the narrative of the holiday season being one of joy and happiness, it is important to allow yourself ample time and space to navigate one of the most complex emotions to work through. Whilst this article is not an exclusively extensive guide for those grieving during the holidays, these pointers can hopefully alleviate some of the key stressors that may exacerbate your feelings.
January 2nd, 2023